When she rolls her eyes, cook sweet ‘tater fries, then Velma eats steak sand(wich)!
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During the show, the star-power of one of the six merry murderesses of Cook County Jail, Velma Kelly, rapidly wanes as interest in her rival killer, Roxie Hart, soars – including that of their lawyer, Billy Flynn. Velma makes a plan for how she will manipulate the jury’s sympathy during her trial, planning her clothes (including a garter and shoes with rhinestone buckles), tears and fainting spells. She demonstrates her charade to Billy who is thoroughly uninterested but, to her horror, eventually passes all of her tricks (and outfit) on to Roxy when her trial is fast-tracked.
First she steals my publicity, then she steals my lawyer, my trial date. Now she stole my goddam garter!
Disappointment leads to comfort-eating and, uninterested in Mama Morton’s gravy, Velma prefers a really good steak sandwich – served bloody, of course, and washed down with a Cell Block Mango.
You will, of course, have your own preference on a steak sandwich – but here’s my take… the important thing is to not end up with meat you can’t die through and end up pulling out of the bread with your teeth! A drizzle of Razzle Basil Oil would also not go amiss here…
For the sweet potato straw fries, use a spiraliser or a julienne peeler to make the straws and stir through the oil and seasoning. Spread out across a large roasting tray and bake in a hot oven (200C) for an initial 10 minutes. Stir the straws around and return the oven for another 5 minutes. Repeat every 5 minutes or so – they will be crispy after around 20-25 minutes. Keep warm while you cook the steaks.
Mix the cream cheese and mustard (vary the quantities depending on your tastes – try horseradish if you don’t have a suitable mustard). Cook the well seasoned steak to your liking and then let it rest for five minutes. Slice the steak thinly on the diagonal and build your sandwich as you see fit – use a good quality bread that won’t get too soggy from any meat juices and fall apart. I’ve used my home-made rye bread (but more on that another time…). Add any additional garnishes, such as sliced tomato, scallions or watercress.